So, I am typically a person who is completely and utterly against putting any size, shape or sort of dirty laundry on social media, which is why many people didn't even know when I was going through a divorce. I'm making an exception today, because frankly, I just can't even. I'm so bewildered, flabbergasted, confused, taken aback (insert EVERY synonym for any of these terms here) at a situation that took place today, so much so, that I JUST CAN'T EVEN. CAN'T.
Do you ever have those days where everything goes wrong, or just seems so ridiculous that you are certain that at some point you are going to run into a wall that is painted to look like the sky because you know that you absolutely have to be on something like the Truman Show where everything is happening for someone else's entertainment? No, just me? Huh. Well, the last few months, I keep waiting for someone to jump out and shout "Smile! You're on Candid Camera!" It hasn't happened yet, and I'm actually starting to think this is real life.
I'm not going to get into the details of the divorce from the little's dad, because frankly, I am trying to just block out that time in my life, but I will tell you that it ended in a custody schedule of 2/2/3. As in, they were with me 2 days, with him 2 days, with me 3 days, and then visa versa the following week. Confusing you think? Try living it. So Stephen and I filed for a custody modification back in May. We were (comically) thinking that it would be a quick and simple process that would be settled before school started so that the little ones would have a little more stable schedule with Jace going into the big 3rd grade and the Twincesses going into Kindergarten. Reasonable yes?
So we filed our modification, and I was scared of how their dad would react. I mean, terrified that he was going to show up at my place of business and shout at me or confront me and embarrass me in front of my coworkers. HAHAHAHA! Ohemgee. I seriously had that in my mind as worst case scenario. Naive much? Eight days after he was served with the papers letting him know that we had asked the court for a modification, he went and filed a police report stating that we do drugs and abuse the children. I SHIT YOU NOT. So obviously, his level of crazy is much higher than my expectation. Hats off to him for breaking the barrier. The last few months continued with other incidents, and I won't bore you with all the details. I'm getting there, to my 'I can't even' moment. Oh, you were thinking that was it right? Nope. Just keep reading.
Part of the process is called "Discovery", where each party supplies the other party with whatever documentation they plan to use against each other. I got a copy of all of his paperwork and in it there was a letter written by his sister. Two pages long about how she questioned me as a mother, or my abilities, etc (PRETTY MUCH THE MOST OFFENSIVE THING YOU CAN DO TO A MOM) and how she wouldn't leave her daughter (3 months younger than the Twincesses) with me when I was married to her brother. WHICH WAS UNTRUE BECAUSE I KEPT HER DAUGHTER A HANDFUL OF TIMES WHEN SHE WAS SICK AND COULDN'T GO TO DAYCARE. So, obviously, I'm offended, hurt, confused, PISSED, etc. Here I am trying to stick to facts for my side of the case when the other side is trying to attack me personally and say untrue things. Which, as my attorney pointed out, was the only option as there was no case against us.
Did you know people actually lie on the stand? People file completely false police reports and make up horrendous things to try and obliterate others completely out of wickedness? I mean, honestly, I just have way more faith in humanity that it deserves. I am the kind of person who believes that people are good and kind and are honestly trying to do their best at life most of the time.
So today, we are at Jace's first flag football game. It's pretty much my new favorite football team to watch (GO BEARS!), and he plays center if you're wondering. So I see this ex-sister in law coming toward us. My mother in law and best girlfriend (and her husband, Stephen's brother) are there also watching Jace. Ex-sister in law has her kids with her, and the Twincesses run up to greet their cousins. Which is completely normal, understandable, etc. I whisper to my my friend, Dusti, 'Will you help me keep an eye on the girls so they don't go too far?' Dusti knows I just can't handle having to deal with this girl. She hangs out for fifteen minutes or so and as I am watching my precious son play his first football game, I can see her making her way toward me out of the corner of my eye. As I'm typing this, my blood pressure and heart rate are rising. I'm thinking, 'surely she is not going to approach me, she must be trying to watch', so I take a couple sidesteps in the opposite direction. I can still see her, it hits me that she is approaching me. Tears begin to fill my eyes, because I can't. I can't. She touches my arm and says, 'Are you doing okay?' ARE YOU FRIGGIN' KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?!?! I asked her not to approach me again, and my MIL steps between us and asks her to move on, which was kind of funny and really nice because I felt protected. The Ex-SIL says, 'Oh, really? Okay.' Like she is shocked. What? Huh? What just happened?! I can't decide if it was an effort to try to provoke me, if she thinks I didn't see her two pages of lies, or if she just honestly thinks we are going to be friends of some kind after such a personal (and completely false) attack on my character and abilities as a mother. I CAN'T. I JUST CAN'T EVEN.
Needless to say, I am still waiting on the Candid Camera announcement, or the running into a wall painted to look like the sky. We shall see what the adventure of tomorrow's football game holds!
PS- 3 blog posts in a month. I'm so on top of this right now!
PPS- Our case is closed as of last week, we got the standard schedule we asked for, and the stability for our littles starts October 1st!
Do you ever have those days where everything goes wrong, or just seems so ridiculous that you are certain that at some point you are going to run into a wall that is painted to look like the sky because you know that you absolutely have to be on something like the Truman Show where everything is happening for someone else's entertainment? No, just me? Huh. Well, the last few months, I keep waiting for someone to jump out and shout "Smile! You're on Candid Camera!" It hasn't happened yet, and I'm actually starting to think this is real life.
I'm not going to get into the details of the divorce from the little's dad, because frankly, I am trying to just block out that time in my life, but I will tell you that it ended in a custody schedule of 2/2/3. As in, they were with me 2 days, with him 2 days, with me 3 days, and then visa versa the following week. Confusing you think? Try living it. So Stephen and I filed for a custody modification back in May. We were (comically) thinking that it would be a quick and simple process that would be settled before school started so that the little ones would have a little more stable schedule with Jace going into the big 3rd grade and the Twincesses going into Kindergarten. Reasonable yes?
So we filed our modification, and I was scared of how their dad would react. I mean, terrified that he was going to show up at my place of business and shout at me or confront me and embarrass me in front of my coworkers. HAHAHAHA! Ohemgee. I seriously had that in my mind as worst case scenario. Naive much? Eight days after he was served with the papers letting him know that we had asked the court for a modification, he went and filed a police report stating that we do drugs and abuse the children. I SHIT YOU NOT. So obviously, his level of crazy is much higher than my expectation. Hats off to him for breaking the barrier. The last few months continued with other incidents, and I won't bore you with all the details. I'm getting there, to my 'I can't even' moment. Oh, you were thinking that was it right? Nope. Just keep reading.
Part of the process is called "Discovery", where each party supplies the other party with whatever documentation they plan to use against each other. I got a copy of all of his paperwork and in it there was a letter written by his sister. Two pages long about how she questioned me as a mother, or my abilities, etc (PRETTY MUCH THE MOST OFFENSIVE THING YOU CAN DO TO A MOM) and how she wouldn't leave her daughter (3 months younger than the Twincesses) with me when I was married to her brother. WHICH WAS UNTRUE BECAUSE I KEPT HER DAUGHTER A HANDFUL OF TIMES WHEN SHE WAS SICK AND COULDN'T GO TO DAYCARE. So, obviously, I'm offended, hurt, confused, PISSED, etc. Here I am trying to stick to facts for my side of the case when the other side is trying to attack me personally and say untrue things. Which, as my attorney pointed out, was the only option as there was no case against us.
Did you know people actually lie on the stand? People file completely false police reports and make up horrendous things to try and obliterate others completely out of wickedness? I mean, honestly, I just have way more faith in humanity that it deserves. I am the kind of person who believes that people are good and kind and are honestly trying to do their best at life most of the time.
So today, we are at Jace's first flag football game. It's pretty much my new favorite football team to watch (GO BEARS!), and he plays center if you're wondering. So I see this ex-sister in law coming toward us. My mother in law and best girlfriend (and her husband, Stephen's brother) are there also watching Jace. Ex-sister in law has her kids with her, and the Twincesses run up to greet their cousins. Which is completely normal, understandable, etc. I whisper to my my friend, Dusti, 'Will you help me keep an eye on the girls so they don't go too far?' Dusti knows I just can't handle having to deal with this girl. She hangs out for fifteen minutes or so and as I am watching my precious son play his first football game, I can see her making her way toward me out of the corner of my eye. As I'm typing this, my blood pressure and heart rate are rising. I'm thinking, 'surely she is not going to approach me, she must be trying to watch', so I take a couple sidesteps in the opposite direction. I can still see her, it hits me that she is approaching me. Tears begin to fill my eyes, because I can't. I can't. She touches my arm and says, 'Are you doing okay?' ARE YOU FRIGGIN' KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?!?! I asked her not to approach me again, and my MIL steps between us and asks her to move on, which was kind of funny and really nice because I felt protected. The Ex-SIL says, 'Oh, really? Okay.' Like she is shocked. What? Huh? What just happened?! I can't decide if it was an effort to try to provoke me, if she thinks I didn't see her two pages of lies, or if she just honestly thinks we are going to be friends of some kind after such a personal (and completely false) attack on my character and abilities as a mother. I CAN'T. I JUST CAN'T EVEN.
Needless to say, I am still waiting on the Candid Camera announcement, or the running into a wall painted to look like the sky. We shall see what the adventure of tomorrow's football game holds!
PS- 3 blog posts in a month. I'm so on top of this right now!
PPS- Our case is closed as of last week, we got the standard schedule we asked for, and the stability for our littles starts October 1st!
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