My ex husband plays this super fun game, and I'm so excited tell you about it. I'm currently at gymnastics with one of the twincesses and I'm so bad mom-ing right this second because I'm writing this post. But you know, I think it's okay. I mean, I bring her every week, and I watch her every week. So. Back to this fun game... Wait.
You know that time when you were a kid, or in my case, all those times, when your momma told you "If you don't have anything nice to say, keep your mouth shut!"? Recently, I read something similar in a book that said, "If you don't have anything nice to say, take a big bite and chew slow" so I've really been meaning to buy a package of ding dongs to keep in my purse but I've yet to do that... So this game. Are you excited? I'm uber excited to tell you about it because it's so damn much fun. Like, really excited!!! Can you feel my excitement to share radiating through my words yet?
Did you watch that viral video about the lady and her Chewbacca mask? That is how excited you should be right now. Snort-laugh giddy. Beteedubs, I totally bought a Chewbacca mask. Ohemgee. The game! Quit distracting me folks, I'm trying to share!
Bottom line, I have absolutely nothing to say to my ex-husband unless it affects my kids. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero. So this game he plays is fun. He loves the fact that I have nothing to say to him. He loves it so much that he has created a game out of it. It's called the Nice Guy game, and he is so freaking good at it!
Here's how the game works: I am at an event, function, practice of one of my children, and sometimes he shows up too. And that is perfectly normal, and fine and good. Oh! I forgot my favorite part of the game. The Nice Guy game only takes place when I'm alone, and there are others present that are either a) total strangers or b) friends/family of my ex. The Nice Guy game is generally not played when my husband or any of my family is around. So, I'm sitting upstairs in the little viewing room on the bleachers and I see my ex come in. I know the game is coming, so I decide to go downstairs, and watch through the windows there so that I have removed myself from the possibility of getting sucked into the game. I tell my son all the time to remove himself from the situation, when he is telling me why he got angry and was fighting with Friend McGee in his class, so I'm following my own advice. I'm winning, right?
WRONG. And I know I can't ever win, I mean, its the NICE GUY GAME! It's not mine to win. So, wherever we are, that I am alone, people are around, and he knows I have nothing to say to him. I have even reminded him of exactly that many times, which was obviously effective. I'm watching my child, minding my own, sometimes chatting with other parents, teachers, etc, and here he comes, Mr. NICE GUY himself. He approaches me, usually with a smile, sometimes puts his hand out and will ask me, "Hey, how are you?" or "How has your day been?", "How's work going?", because, you know, he is such a nice guy. And here is what happens. I relax every muscle in my face and blankly stare at him. If I can get away with ignoring him, I do, but he will continue to try to speak until I respond in some manner. So that's the game. He is Mr. Nice Guy, just trying to make conversation, and I am the custy bitch who just stares at him. And he LOVES this game. He loves this game because it makes him look nice, it makes other people uncomfortable, and it makes me look horrid. And then he will throw it out randomly how I go out of my way to make every situation uncomfortable for everyone. He is totally winning.
But you know what? That is his game, I don't care if he wins. I do feel a touch bad for the random people that are sucked into those fleeting moments of discomfort, and I feel bad for the people who judge me for my behavior in that situation and choose not to get to know me. I feel bad for them, because I'm kind of awesome and a ton of fun. But here's the thing, I don't owe anyone an apology or an explanation for my behavior in those situations because I have done nothing wrong. I'm actually doing the RIGHT thing by choosing to keep my mouth shut and my hands to myself. I am being a good example to my children of turning the other cheek.
I'm winning at human-ing and adult-ing, and that is good enough for me.
xo
b
You know that time when you were a kid, or in my case, all those times, when your momma told you "If you don't have anything nice to say, keep your mouth shut!"? Recently, I read something similar in a book that said, "If you don't have anything nice to say, take a big bite and chew slow" so I've really been meaning to buy a package of ding dongs to keep in my purse but I've yet to do that... So this game. Are you excited? I'm uber excited to tell you about it because it's so damn much fun. Like, really excited!!! Can you feel my excitement to share radiating through my words yet?
Did you watch that viral video about the lady and her Chewbacca mask? That is how excited you should be right now. Snort-laugh giddy. Beteedubs, I totally bought a Chewbacca mask. Ohemgee. The game! Quit distracting me folks, I'm trying to share!
Bottom line, I have absolutely nothing to say to my ex-husband unless it affects my kids. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero. So this game he plays is fun. He loves the fact that I have nothing to say to him. He loves it so much that he has created a game out of it. It's called the Nice Guy game, and he is so freaking good at it!
Here's how the game works: I am at an event, function, practice of one of my children, and sometimes he shows up too. And that is perfectly normal, and fine and good. Oh! I forgot my favorite part of the game. The Nice Guy game only takes place when I'm alone, and there are others present that are either a) total strangers or b) friends/family of my ex. The Nice Guy game is generally not played when my husband or any of my family is around. So, I'm sitting upstairs in the little viewing room on the bleachers and I see my ex come in. I know the game is coming, so I decide to go downstairs, and watch through the windows there so that I have removed myself from the possibility of getting sucked into the game. I tell my son all the time to remove himself from the situation, when he is telling me why he got angry and was fighting with Friend McGee in his class, so I'm following my own advice. I'm winning, right?
WRONG. And I know I can't ever win, I mean, its the NICE GUY GAME! It's not mine to win. So, wherever we are, that I am alone, people are around, and he knows I have nothing to say to him. I have even reminded him of exactly that many times, which was obviously effective. I'm watching my child, minding my own, sometimes chatting with other parents, teachers, etc, and here he comes, Mr. NICE GUY himself. He approaches me, usually with a smile, sometimes puts his hand out and will ask me, "Hey, how are you?" or "How has your day been?", "How's work going?", because, you know, he is such a nice guy. And here is what happens. I relax every muscle in my face and blankly stare at him. If I can get away with ignoring him, I do, but he will continue to try to speak until I respond in some manner. So that's the game. He is Mr. Nice Guy, just trying to make conversation, and I am the custy bitch who just stares at him. And he LOVES this game. He loves this game because it makes him look nice, it makes other people uncomfortable, and it makes me look horrid. And then he will throw it out randomly how I go out of my way to make every situation uncomfortable for everyone. He is totally winning.
But you know what? That is his game, I don't care if he wins. I do feel a touch bad for the random people that are sucked into those fleeting moments of discomfort, and I feel bad for the people who judge me for my behavior in that situation and choose not to get to know me. I feel bad for them, because I'm kind of awesome and a ton of fun. But here's the thing, I don't owe anyone an apology or an explanation for my behavior in those situations because I have done nothing wrong. I'm actually doing the RIGHT thing by choosing to keep my mouth shut and my hands to myself. I am being a good example to my children of turning the other cheek.
I'm winning at human-ing and adult-ing, and that is good enough for me.
xo
b
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