Y'all guys, I know you have seen the photos I have posted of the progress on our house, and each time I add some, I have this niggling thought that tries to steal my joy.
I truly hope that no one sees these photos and thinks I am being braggadocious, to borrow a word from my least favorite president. If you do think so, then hopefully you will choose to get to know me better, because that isn't who I am. This post is quite long, but it will give you a fair glimpse of why I am so damn excited!
This house building thing is truly a dream come true and has been such a humbling experience. Stephen and I have learned a lot about each other, and we haven't even considered divorce yet! Well, maybe over my mirror wants...*joking* mostly.
We have been dreaming about this for 3 and a half years and have spent that much time working our asses off to make it happen. We have scrimped and saved, we have given up extras and trips and other material things so we could do this for our family. Having a home of our own is a REALLY big deal.
About 4 and a half years ago, I was going through a long, drawn out, crazy, nasty divorce. I was spending the day time in the home I had moved into when I moved to Amarillo, and I was sleeping in my vehicle. My checkbook and debit card had disappeared, which really didn't matter because all the money that was coming in was being put into an account that I wasn't on. I was a stay-at-home-mom and I was literally penniless. Car seats had been removed from my vehicle and locked up elsewhere so I couldn't go anywhere with the kids. I was desperately searching for a job.
I know that reading this, you probably have very simple solutions, but I can assure you, nothing in my life at that point was simple. I was so overwhelmed by shame of what I had allowed to happen and go on in my life, that I couldn't and didn't tell my family or ask for help. I didn't know there were resources out there that would have helped me get out, and I was so overcome with the need to get out so that I could provide a better life and be a better mom to my kiddos, that I didn't even know where to start.
One day, my friend Erica called me, she knew that I was getting divorced and she invited me to dinner. I met her to talk and she and her husband, Preston, offered me their extra bedroom to stay in until I was able to get on my feet. It's kind of crazy how people pop right into your life in ways that you need them the most. Preston had gone to school with my ex, and I had known he and Erica for about a year and a half when they reached out to me. They reached out and picked me up. For the first time since divorce papers had been filed, I felt hope. They gave me a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. They had a two bedroom apartment and they didn't charge me rent. They helped me with gas money and food. I had a blow up mattress and I carried a duffel bag back and forth while I was still being stay-at-home-mom during the day and leaving at night. I spent Christmas of 2012 with them and New Year's 2013. Preston helped me get my foot in the door to help cater events for the restaurant he worked for at the time. They helped me in ways I can never repay them, and while I am being honest, I have been horrible at keeping up with these precious people.
I found a job in February, and moved into my first solo digs in March. Shortly thereafter, I got a call from the one of the owners of that restaurant, a friend of Preston's and my ex, Colby. He knew that I was trying to get on my feet and he offered me a more steady flow of catering work so I could pay my bills, feed my children, etc. He worked with my crazy schedule and let me do the catering when I didn't have my kiddos. He offered me every job he could and was another tremendous help in my life when I needed it. More hope, and a little more light at the end of the tunnel.
My divorce was final April 1, 2013, and it was the most liberating day of my life. I made very little at my regular job, I had kind of a crappy 2 bedroom apartment, and I was definitely struggling to figure out the whole budgeting thing. I hadn't been involved in my finances in nearly nine years, so there was definitely a learning curve. I had credit cards in my name from before, but I wasn't getting the bills, or calls, etc and they all went to collections. I had no idea.
In June of 2013 I got a better job at a bank here in town and they pulled my credit as part of my application process. I had a stellar resume (if I do say so myself) because of the commercial lending work I had done back in Fayetteville, but I also had taken just over a 3 year hiatus from working, and then wrecked credit to boot! Luckily Rodney, the man hiring for that position gave me some grace, a job, a copy of my credit report, and some financial pointers to help me get my credit back on track. Honestly, I wasn't making enough to make all my bills, childcare, groceries and utilities, so the cards continued to be neglected.
I was happy in my little crappy apartment, struggling along, earning my own money again, paying my own bills, finally getting out and about in Amarillo, meeting people and re-introducing myself to society. I was wholly and completely me again. I wasn't too fat or too messy. I didn't curse too much and I wasn't too liberal. I wasn't stupid or miserable and I was learning to talk about things. I was learning to let go of my shame, and the fact that it was never mine to bear.
I met Stephen in September of 2013, so for those of you who are doing math in your head right now, I'll make it easy. We met in September of 2013 and married in January of 2014. Yes it was quick, but we both just knew. Sometimes love is like that.
We have dealt with and overcome so many things in these last three and a half years. We have both learned to be step-parents in completely different capacities, dealt with exes, child support arrangements and lack thereof, custody battles and modifications, broken bones, medical scares and the expenses that come along with them. Through it all we have been united, and kept our eyes on the goal. We have worked ferociously on budgets and credit scores.
We are beyond excited to finally give our kids a home of our own, and to build our future there. We've come a long way, and I'm proud.
I truly hope that no one sees these photos and thinks I am being braggadocious, to borrow a word from my least favorite president. If you do think so, then hopefully you will choose to get to know me better, because that isn't who I am. This post is quite long, but it will give you a fair glimpse of why I am so damn excited!
This house building thing is truly a dream come true and has been such a humbling experience. Stephen and I have learned a lot about each other, and we haven't even considered divorce yet! Well, maybe over my mirror wants...*joking* mostly.
We have been dreaming about this for 3 and a half years and have spent that much time working our asses off to make it happen. We have scrimped and saved, we have given up extras and trips and other material things so we could do this for our family. Having a home of our own is a REALLY big deal.
About 4 and a half years ago, I was going through a long, drawn out, crazy, nasty divorce. I was spending the day time in the home I had moved into when I moved to Amarillo, and I was sleeping in my vehicle. My checkbook and debit card had disappeared, which really didn't matter because all the money that was coming in was being put into an account that I wasn't on. I was a stay-at-home-mom and I was literally penniless. Car seats had been removed from my vehicle and locked up elsewhere so I couldn't go anywhere with the kids. I was desperately searching for a job.
I know that reading this, you probably have very simple solutions, but I can assure you, nothing in my life at that point was simple. I was so overwhelmed by shame of what I had allowed to happen and go on in my life, that I couldn't and didn't tell my family or ask for help. I didn't know there were resources out there that would have helped me get out, and I was so overcome with the need to get out so that I could provide a better life and be a better mom to my kiddos, that I didn't even know where to start.
One day, my friend Erica called me, she knew that I was getting divorced and she invited me to dinner. I met her to talk and she and her husband, Preston, offered me their extra bedroom to stay in until I was able to get on my feet. It's kind of crazy how people pop right into your life in ways that you need them the most. Preston had gone to school with my ex, and I had known he and Erica for about a year and a half when they reached out to me. They reached out and picked me up. For the first time since divorce papers had been filed, I felt hope. They gave me a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. They had a two bedroom apartment and they didn't charge me rent. They helped me with gas money and food. I had a blow up mattress and I carried a duffel bag back and forth while I was still being stay-at-home-mom during the day and leaving at night. I spent Christmas of 2012 with them and New Year's 2013. Preston helped me get my foot in the door to help cater events for the restaurant he worked for at the time. They helped me in ways I can never repay them, and while I am being honest, I have been horrible at keeping up with these precious people.
I found a job in February, and moved into my first solo digs in March. Shortly thereafter, I got a call from the one of the owners of that restaurant, a friend of Preston's and my ex, Colby. He knew that I was trying to get on my feet and he offered me a more steady flow of catering work so I could pay my bills, feed my children, etc. He worked with my crazy schedule and let me do the catering when I didn't have my kiddos. He offered me every job he could and was another tremendous help in my life when I needed it. More hope, and a little more light at the end of the tunnel.
My divorce was final April 1, 2013, and it was the most liberating day of my life. I made very little at my regular job, I had kind of a crappy 2 bedroom apartment, and I was definitely struggling to figure out the whole budgeting thing. I hadn't been involved in my finances in nearly nine years, so there was definitely a learning curve. I had credit cards in my name from before, but I wasn't getting the bills, or calls, etc and they all went to collections. I had no idea.
In June of 2013 I got a better job at a bank here in town and they pulled my credit as part of my application process. I had a stellar resume (if I do say so myself) because of the commercial lending work I had done back in Fayetteville, but I also had taken just over a 3 year hiatus from working, and then wrecked credit to boot! Luckily Rodney, the man hiring for that position gave me some grace, a job, a copy of my credit report, and some financial pointers to help me get my credit back on track. Honestly, I wasn't making enough to make all my bills, childcare, groceries and utilities, so the cards continued to be neglected.
I was happy in my little crappy apartment, struggling along, earning my own money again, paying my own bills, finally getting out and about in Amarillo, meeting people and re-introducing myself to society. I was wholly and completely me again. I wasn't too fat or too messy. I didn't curse too much and I wasn't too liberal. I wasn't stupid or miserable and I was learning to talk about things. I was learning to let go of my shame, and the fact that it was never mine to bear.
I met Stephen in September of 2013, so for those of you who are doing math in your head right now, I'll make it easy. We met in September of 2013 and married in January of 2014. Yes it was quick, but we both just knew. Sometimes love is like that.
We have dealt with and overcome so many things in these last three and a half years. We have both learned to be step-parents in completely different capacities, dealt with exes, child support arrangements and lack thereof, custody battles and modifications, broken bones, medical scares and the expenses that come along with them. Through it all we have been united, and kept our eyes on the goal. We have worked ferociously on budgets and credit scores.
We are beyond excited to finally give our kids a home of our own, and to build our future there. We've come a long way, and I'm proud.
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