Our Sweet Family of SIX!

As I came out of the anesthesia, I could see Dr. Handsome sitting beside me. 'Do NOT try to move' was the first thing out of his mouth. I could feel panic begin to set in and tears were filling my eyes. He must have noticed because he then explained that I hadn't had anything for pain yet and since he had cut through my abdominal wall, it would be quite painful. I laid there for a few hours and he came back to discharge me. Uhhh, yeah, no. I could not even imagine moving. I couldn't get up by myself, and I surely could not take care of myself and a 2 year old! I told him these things so he admitted me for the night and scheduled an ultrasound to check the babes. I will admit I was pretty medicated as I have a ridiculously low pain tolerance, but I do remember the red headed man come to wheel me down to the ultrasound room. I waited anxiously for the tech to come in. I needed to see my babies, needed to know if they were okay. She came in and we chatted for a minut...

After two weeks of having the PICC line pumping Zofran, fluids and nutrients into my arm I went for a follow up. The hope was that the Zofran was doing its job and I'd be able to eat and be over the whole awake sickness thing. I walked into the office and when they weighed me, I was down another 10 pounds. I had been afraid to weigh myself at home, but at that moment I knew I couldn't will myself to gain weight, or pray it on. Dr. Clouatre came in with a really unhappy look and once again I felt hopeless. 'Good news!' he said, followed by, 'weight doesn't matter, nutrients do. We are going to take some blood and do a test just to check. You are probably doing fine, but you'll need to keep the line in a bit longer.' Awesome. More needles and I got to keep the tube hanging out of my arm. Bonus: rocking the fanny pack longer! The following morning I got a call from the nurse. She explained my test results (jibberish) and then told me that Clouatre had...

I spent the following morning completely numb. Nothing. No tears, no sadness, just nada. Around 10am my nurse, Leslie, called. This is pretty normal protocol for OB patients if they had been in the ER. She asked how I was feeling and all of a sudden I was livid. I started telling her how insensitive that wicked doctor in the ER was and how stupid he must be to be so nonchalant about the loss of a child. I went on to tell her that I would be finding a new OB who doesn't work with a program that employed assholes. Yes, that is what I said to her. Yes, I was completely aware that there's always someone like that. But I was mad. Furious. Thank goodness I just so happened to have THE best nurse ever. When I paused after asking for the man's superior's name and contact info, I realized she was crying. My sweet nurse was crying for me. Leslie asked me to come in that afternoon so Dr. Clouatre could visit with me. Josh and I arrived at 2pm and the nurse walked me straight...

I spent the next several days in and out of the ER, thanks to my awake sickness. I couldn't hold down any kind of food or drink. Everything that went in, even water, came back out the same way. I could go about two days and then I became so weak and lethargic I would have to go in and get an IV with fluids and nutrients. Have I mentioned that I HATE needles? I do. Even typing that word just made me nauseous. I hate needles. After about a week I looked like a druggie with black circles under my eyes from lack of sleep, sunken cheeks from losing too much weight and needle marks in both my arms. It was worth it. I would do everything in my power to take care of my tiny babies. By January all of our close friends and family knew the situation. Every single person said they would be praying for us. I'll be honest, I did not care. I also didn't think it would make any kind of difference. What will be, will be. If anyone had prayed until it was painful, it was me (at an earl...

When I woke I realized I had been moved to a different room and Dr. Clouatre (Clue-art if you're wondering) was sitting in front of me. He informed me that he had already contacted two specialists that he would be working with for my twin pregnancy. 'I'm going to lose one, doc. We don't need a specialist.' In case I wasn't clear before, I want to state that I LOVE THIS MAN!!! 'You just never know what's really going to happen, Brittni. One day at a time.' I went on to ask about the odds of losing both babies when I miscarried Baby B, which was a huge mistake. I had a few questions, he had answers, we hugged, and I left the office feeling like I had just been given two beautiful babies and then stripped of them. I got in my truck determined not to tell anyone about the twins. I would just pretend like it was a normal pregnancy and then I could grieve in peace and private. Pssshhh, that lasted all of five seconds. I immediately called my (ex)...

Since I learned I was expecting at the beginning of December, I decided to surprise the family by announcing it at Christmas. What's better than a new baby for Christmas, right?!? I had my very first OBGYN appointment on December 17th, with Michael Clouatre (who I swear is THE MOST fantastic Dr ever!) at Willow Creek. I was über excited to go in because I actually had zero clue how far along I was and I knew that would probably get me an ultrasound. We chatted a bit and then he asked the US Tech to slip me in so that a due date could be determined. I sat in the waiting area, fidgeting, heart pounding, anxious to see my little bean. I texted my little sister (she was watching Jace) letting her know what was going on. I was so excited to see Bridgette come around the corner to call me back. In case you didn't know, when you're only a few weeks along, you don't get the same kind of ultrasound as you see in the movies ;) It begins! Bridgette is performing the scan, ...

Honestly, I have no idea. When I learned I was expecting, I downloaded the What To Expect app on my iPhone. Immediately I was connected with a TON of other moms expecting in the same month my babies were due. We had a fantastic, drama filled pregnancy journey, however; that in itself is it's own story. After most momma's gave birth, they posted a 'Birth Story' thread in our forum. These consisted mostly of the events that occurred from the first contraction until baby was in her arms. They were all beautiful. Some were considerably different from how the momma had planned her delivery, and some fit momma's plans exactly. More often than not, there was at least one disappointment in how things went down. I had twins. C-section. Not at all how I'd hoped, so I never shared mine. I feel like its a bit boring, but when you know the whole shebang, it's beautiful. I'm going to begin to share it with you tonight. Thursday, December 03, 2009 (yep, I'm...