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The Waiting Game

When I woke I realized I had been moved to a different room and Dr. Clouatre (Clue-art if you're wondering) was sitting in front of me. He informed me that he had already contacted two specialists that he would be working with for my twin pregnancy.

'I'm going to lose one, doc. We don't need a specialist.'

In case I wasn't clear before, I want to state that I LOVE THIS MAN!!!

'You just never know what's really going to happen, Brittni. One day at a time.'

I went on to ask about the odds of losing both babies when I miscarried Baby B, which was a huge mistake. I had a few questions, he had answers, we hugged, and I left the office feeling like I had just been given two beautiful babies and then stripped of them.

I got in my truck determined not to tell anyone about the twins. I would just pretend like it was a normal pregnancy and then I could grieve in peace and private. Pssshhh, that lasted all of five seconds. I immediately called my (ex) Mother in-law, who promptly jumped on a plane to come and help me through my hysteria for the weekend.

Christmas morning we went to my dad's house to do gifts and just as we walked in I had a wave of morning sickness, which for me, was more like awake sickness. If I was awake, I was sick. Jace opened his 'Big Brother' sweatshirt from us first and there were hugs all around.

My daddy caught me crying in the kitchen so I told him about Baby B and how I would lose her at some point in the near future.

Josh was out of town for New Year's Eve, so I headed out to daddy's house with Jace and my bestie, Niki. I was feeling pretty sickly but it was nice to be around friends. We ate, they drank and it was a fun night. Just as we were loading up to leave, my 'awake sickness' kicked in with a vengeance! I'm not gonna lie, on New Year's Eve, puking feels super lame if you haven't had a single drink.

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